Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
