I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
