i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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