Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
