i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
