If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize