I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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