I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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