what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
