So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
