Sponge bath it is.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
