nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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