Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
