y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
