please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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