Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this just has baby written all over it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
