careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
