Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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