Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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