Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
