Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
