I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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