Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize