9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
