Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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