Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
