"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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