I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
