what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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