every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
