He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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