If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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