The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
