Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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