Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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