I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
