My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
