PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
