That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
