Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drake has all the answers
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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