That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
