I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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