So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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