Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
