..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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