I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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