Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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