hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
