in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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