think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
