im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
