Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
