she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
