just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
