Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
