i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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