I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
