I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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