and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
