so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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