Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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