I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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