I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
