Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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