I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
