Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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