Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
