What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Found the puke drawer
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
