are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
