it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize